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Movie Review: ‘Wish Upon’ Grants Horror Both Despicable and Laughable

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Wish Upon Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

How does Wish Upon stack up against Final Destination? Read our movie review to find out:

[dropcap]W[/dropcap]ish Upon is that special kind of bad movie that left me laughing at its misfires by the time the credits began to roll with its goofy theme song and spooky imagery. As I sat in the theater getting out all the cackles I had been politely holding in throughout this entire farce, an audience member approached me with a perplexed expression as though I had a laugh at Schindler’s List. He sat down next to me and demanded I explain myself.

Among the many ridiculous misfires, I cited how the plot of cursed wishes with deadly consequences was such a weak and unoriginal story concept. “Yeah, but I still liked the concept,” he defended. He didn’t seem to have a defense for the despicable characters, ridiculous deaths and dated ideas of teen slang.

Wish Upon Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

Don’t open the box!

But let’s talk about this concept that was apparently so fascinating for at least one viewer. There’s a box of Chinese origins that holds the power of a demon, granting seven wishes to whoever possesses it. Each wish comes with the blood price of the murder of a friend, neighbor, family member or someone you just met (whichever is convenient for the plot). If you lose the box or give it to someone else, all your wishes are undone. When all seven wishes have been granted, a demon comes to take your soul to hell.

The latest owner of the box is Claire (Joey King), an unfortunate teenager who could just so happen to use some fulfillment of wishes. Her dad (Ryan Phillippe) digs through dumpsters during the day, her house is in disrepair, and she can’t afford new clothes and is mocked by the popular girls of school. And with a rough childhood of discovering her mother hanging herself, Claire’s life is such a bummer. Do kids still say bummer? How about dude and awesome sauce? The teenagers of this picture sure use both of those phrases a lot. The dialogue feels as though a 50-year-old writer who tried to pick up the lingo by reading a bunch of teen magazines and watching the “hippest” of YouTube videos conceived the script. If awesome sauce wasn’t already dated slang, it’s certainly hit its expiration date here.

Wish Upon Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

The horror!

Part of what makes a film about a curse so engaging is caring about the character affected by it. This is what made Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell so good because we want to see the unlucky girl climb out of her pit of misfortune. While that film had a heroine with bad luck, Wish Upon features characters that are just plain bad.

Claire’s first wish is that the prim and proper popular chick at school that wrongs her would “just rot.” Sure enough, the good-looking social princess wakes up the next morning with her flesh rotting away. How do Claire and her friends respond to such news? With a middle finger to the popular kids and triumphant giggles for their school bully being sent to the hospital with a deadly disease that will lead to amputation. And this is the exact moment where Claire’s character loses all credibility.

Wish Upon Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

She might need to see a doctor.

After that point, I didn’t care about Claire’s desires. I didn’t care that she wished to be rich, leading to a lame montage of her friends shopping and taking selfies. I didn’t care that she finally attracted the attention of the cute boy she had always wanted to date. So many of these selfish wishes continue to mount, even when Claire finally learns all the rules about the box and what it will do to her. Yeah, that Chinese demon may claim your soul, but I guess that’s worth it to not have soda thrown at you in the school hallways anymore. Every single character becomes more likable than her when they tell Claire she has lost her mind to sacrifice the lives of others for her perfect life. The horrible fate that awaits her is too good for her.

Related: Movie Review: ‘The Little Hours’ Has Nuns, Witches, Lords & Laughs

How the demon takes lives is a method that seems to be the dollar store version of Final Destination demises. Characters will die in horrible and sometimes comical accidents, but were they really accidents? When your kitchen sink garbage disposal is acting up, is your first instinct really to stick your bare fingers into the drain? When you’re changing a tire with your car jacked, do you really want to crawl all the way under the car just to grab one bolt while the car is raised? There are a few deaths that appear as bad luck, but a good chunk of them seem to occur from the characters making stupid decisions. And wouldn’t that be a better twist that the demon had nothing to do with these deaths?

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Review: “Incredibles 2” is a Fantastic and Fresh Return to Form

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Oh, how we waited so long for that sequel to Pixar’s The Incredibles, arguably their most exciting, inventive, and dynamic of animated films. Sure, they could have tossed it off to another director to deliver a film in 2009 or maybe even craft an animated series in 2012. But they didn’t. And so we watched and longed as Pixar churned out sequel after sequel to other properties; some brilliant (Toy Story 3), some mild (Finding Dory), and some confoundingly conceived (Cars 3). The good news is that patience for Brad Bird’s return to the franchise as writer/director was not in vain. He has returned to give us something fresh, bold, and intelligent out of a franchise that deserves nothing less.

While the Incredible family was last seen bonding while bashing robots, they still have some issues to solve. Socially, there’s a disconnect between working together and taking responsibility. Role-wise, there’s an unease of trust when shifting duties. And legally, superheroism is still a big no-no in their society. Naturally, the immediate problem is trying to lift the ban on superheroes, and it’s going to take careful consideration to ease the public trust. That’s where Elastigirl (Holly Hunter) comes into play, teaming up with a tycoon (Bob Odenkirk) to reshape perceptions of heroism with her body-reshaping superpowers. And since Bob Incredible (Craig T. Nelson) pulled the solo hero path last time, he takes on the more onerous task of maintaining a household. Being a stay-at-home isn’t so bad, but it’s a draining nightmare when dealing with his speedster son Dash (Huck Milner), his emotional daughter Violet (Sarah Vowell), and the baby Jack-Jack that is more of a hodgepodge of powers than he was in the last film.

While Incredibles 2 both mimics and restructures the focus on family dynamics, it’s amplified more than enough to be its own thing rather than a retread. Elastigirl’s crime-stopping crusade pits her against the hypnotizing villain Screenslaver, a masked and technological terrorist that may be a pawn in a bigger conspiracy. Bob’s new mission of raising the kids on his own is not a mere mess of parenting malaise, but as much of a hilarious and visual feat as Elastigirl’s cityscape adventure. There are relatable challenges of Dash’s homework and Violet’s troubled love life at school, but how many dads have to stop their infant from fighting raccoons outside with laser eyes?

Everything in the film has been expanded to the degree where this world is more open, dwarfing the previous film’s scope. Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson) returns and has far more to do than chill between acts. The same is true for the world of superheroes that blows up to include Owl-men, lava-lurchers, and interdimensional portal weavers in the film’s explosive climax. We see more of the cities and their striking 60s deco design of wonderment, from old-fashioned TV studios to state-of-the-art trains of the future. The film even goes deep into Bird’s love and inspiration of Jonny Quest with a multitude of Easter eggs, including literally playing Jonny Quest on nearby television sets.

There’s a unique balance of adult themes and engaging storytelling where the superheroes feel as though their perspective has been warped by misplaced perceptions, political bureaucracy, and a fear of the new manifesting in cultural roles. If this all seems a little heavy for the kids, worry not. The standout attraction is the adorable Jack-Jack, showcasing what appears to be an endless series of superpowers. Among his many attributes, he can set himself aflame, transform into a demon, hop through dimensions, and duplicate himself. This makes him troublesome, but all funnier for his adorable nature. Even the usually snooty hero-fashion designer Edna (Brad Bird) can’t resist the little scamp that she’s willing to be called an auntie.

For the basest of thrills, Incredibles 2 doesn’t let down in the animation department, boasting plenty of gorgeous action sequences that involve everything from splitting motorbikes to missile-launching cars to runaway hydrofoils. But what makes Incredibles 2 just as strong for the second go is that it never loses the charm and smarts with the themes of struggling parents in every aspect of their lives. So strong is this writing that the heftier abundance of fights and feats never feel like filler for such a rich story. It seems fitting that the Incredibles would return amid the recent surge in superhero films, where an animated film fit for the family would be aptly timed. True, but, as with Marvel’s most box office shattering pictures, it returns with a purpose and precision that aims to give fans and families more than capes and cowls. Edna hates capes, after all.


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Box Office

Ocean’s 8 Snatches Box Office Top Slot

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Box Office Report June 8-10, 2018

Ocean’s 8, the all-female remake of the heist picture Ocean’s 8, made a strong debut for its first weekend. The film starring the likes of Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, and Anne Hathaway brought in $41.5 million. Considering the budget of $70 million, the movie still has a few weeks to go before breaking even.

Summer tentpoles are still lingering and are certainly not going to be leaving the top 10 any weekend soon. Solo: A Star Wars Story, despite a surprisingly low debut gross, remains at #2 with a weekend gross of $15.1 million, bringing its total to $176 million. Not bad for your average summer film, but significantly disappointing for a Star Wars movie that usually brings in a hefty sum. Just beneath it in the rankings is Deadpool 2, the superhero satire starring Ryan Reynolds, making $13.6 million for a total so far of $278 million. And Avengers: Infinity War continues to stay in the top 10 with another $6.8 million, adding to its already epic total amount of $654 million. It may be well on its way to toppling 2018’s other superhero blockbuster, Black Panther, which as it happens is just one million away from making $700 million domestic. Infinity War is, however, only $2 million away from reaching $2 billion worldwide.

The two other new films this weekend were lost in the dust, though they may gain a small following. Hereditary, a surprising new horror form studio A24, debuted in under 3,000 theaters but came in at #4 for the weekend with a $13 million gross. Considering the good word of mouth the film has been getting, and an electrified ad campaign of being the “scariest movie ever”, it may be sticking around in the top 10 for quite some time. Also debuting much lower is the sci-fi noir picture, Hotel Artemis, coming in at #8 with a small $3.1 million take.

Read the full top 10 below:
Ocean’s 8 ($41,500,000)
Solo: A Star Wars Story ($15,154,000)
Deadpool 2 ($13,650,000)
Hereditary ($13,037,336)
Avengers: Infinity War ($6,836,000)
Adrift ($5,050,000)
Book Club ($4,200,000)
Hotel Artemis ($3,151,118)
Upgrade ($2,220,000)
Life of the Party ($2,105,000)

Next weekend’s new films will include Pixar’s long-awaited superhero sequel The Incredibles 2, the based-on-a-true-story comedy Tag, and the modern remake of blaxploitation classic Superfly. Considering the wealth of fans for The Incredibles, the 4,200 theaters it will be debuting in, and the projected massive take, it’s clear as crystal who will be next weekend’s winner of the top slot.


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Review: An All-Star Cast Makes “Hotel Artemis” Worth Checking In

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We don’t know too much about the chaotic future of Los Angeles in Hotel Artemis. We know there is a water conglomerate, a city-wide shutdown of water services, and violent riots in the streets. That’s about all Jean Thomas (Jodie Foster) knows and all she wants to know. She resides at the titular hotel on the top floor as the nurse for her secret hospital for criminals. It’s dangerous work and she finds herself overbooked on the night of the city’s most massive riot, where several unsavory people converge for hushed healthcare. It’s a recipe for disaster, but for Nurse Thomas, it’s just another Wednesday.

Sofia Boutella and Charlie Day in HOTEL ARTEMIS.
Photo credit: Matt Kennedy / Distributor: Global Road Entertainment

The rustic hotel becomes a stew of colorfully conspiring characters that will feud and toy with each other, despite the hospital rules of not killing the other patients. Sterling K. Brown plays a robber that needs some help for his brother (Brian Tyree Henry) after a botched robbery. Sofia Boutella plays a femme fatale assassin that always seems to be on the clock in her fancy dress, skilled with using coffee cups as deadly weapons. Charlie Day is a rich snob that can’t wait to get out of the city and look on the lowlifes rather than receiving the same bedside manner. And even more guests will show up including a cop (Jenny Slate), a ruthless mob boss (Jeff Goldblum), and the boss’ eager-to-kill son (Zachary Quinto). If it weren’t for the muscle-bound assistance of Everest (Dave Bautista), the Artemis wouldn’t last long with its failing power, rickety elevators, and blood-stained sheets.

Thomas is overworked and crippled with guilt and anxiety, but brushes off those questioning her with her standard response: “Busy night at the Artemis.” That’s an understatement. There is so much going on in this ensemble-filled enclosure that the various arcs wobble and topple all over each other. The trailers made the plot seem so simple with Sterling accidentally stealing a pen that contains million-dollar diamonds, belonging to Goldblum’s character that is quite strict with his punishments for pilfering. And yet that’s not the reason Goldblum stops by, as he has need of medical services and becomes intertwined in the many messy affairs. Some of the characters have contracts to kill from within the hotel, some have guilt they’re trying to get over, and some have past relationships that rekindle. The film can’t seem to settle on a central story with the same indecisiveness of the allegiances of the occupying scum.

Sterling K. Brown in HOTEL ARTEMIS.
Photo credit: Matt Kennedy / Distributor: Global Road Entertainment

There’s an all-star cast on parade for this fast and frenetic futuristic crime tale, and they become the glowing center of this decadent ride. Jodie Foster is adorable as the slick-talking nurse. She has enough experience with lawbreakers to not only enforce her domain but do so with a knowing smirk and biting commentary. In any other film, she’d be present for a few minutes before stepping aside for lukewarm heroes, but Foster is a full-timer here, hobbling between rooms in her comfy nurse outfit and continuously checking her tablet to keep tabs on patients. Brown makes for a charming robber with his straight talk and ease of swagger. Bautista is as likable as always even when he’s not showcasing his tattooed muscles. Armed with a slick and to-the-point script, all of the actors have a genuine nature to them, even for the understated performances of Jenny Slate and Jeff Goldblum.

Hotel Artemis has a bafflingly crowded assembly with too many plot irons are in the fire, an unfilled relationship between the remaining players, and an ending that I suspect may have been retooled with reshoots. But it’s firmly glued with a stellar cast in top form, dashes of dazzling sci-fi tech (including a brilliantly brutal misuse of a 3D printer), and an intoxicating atmosphere amplified by golden synth from Cliff Martinez. All of this makes the film an exhilarating original film that you certainly don’t see every Wednesday.


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